I Have No Knowledge Of This Post

How Does One Not Have Knowledge Of Playing In A Poker Game?

A-Rod, A-Roid or... The Lightning Rod (Steve Somers' nickname for him) always seems to be making headlines. Whether he's being fed popcorn by a Hollywood starlet, denying allegations of steroid use, or playing in ILLEGAL (don't ask me why) poker games. I have ONE question. Why haven't the Mets tried this?

Perhaps if David Wright tried some homo-erotic mirror kissing or if Jose Reyes tried dating Kate Hudson the Mets would be winners. You think perhaps starting some rumors about Ruben Tejada juicing and then blaming his cousin could make him a 50 HR hitter? Maybe Ike Davis just needs to grow an ego that's too big for words to describe? Face it, Alex Rodriguez... as much as I think he's a lousy guy... is a tremendous baseball player. I refuse to believe someone this unsavory should be gifted these talents through genetics and the grace of the Giant Flying Spagetti Monster in the sky. It has to be that he's discovered how to harness the power of TMZ to somehow enhance his own talents. Instead of HGH Human Growth Hormone augmenting his strength he's using the less well known EBP Egotistical Bastard Pheromone.

Perhaps if Beltran could have slept with a few more starlets, the Mets wouldn't have had so many rough seasons of late. Then again... EBP doesn't seem to prevent injury. Besides, I take a good deal of pride in the fact that the Mets tend to be made up of pretty good human beings... even though they may not always be pretty good ball players.

Kudos On Being The Better Men

LET'S GO METS!!!