Reese Kaplan - A Perspective From the Outside Looking In

Several years ago my wife begrudgingly accepted the fact that I would venture off to freeze my butt off in the Meadowlands every other week or so to watch the NY Jets figure out new and creative ways to lose.  I explained to her that tailgating in the parking lot was the bonding experience that drew us all together in our collective misery and the copious amounts of adult beverages consumed at about 10% of Giants Stadium prices served both to warm our bodies and dull our senses enough to withstand the horror show that was soon to follow.  Unbeknownst to me, she was starting to watch the games on TV each week while I was off quaffing green Jello shots.  On one home Sunday when bronchitis saved me $20 bucks for parking and forced me to sit on the sofa instead, she started peppering me with questions that any novice to a sport would understandably have a hard time grasping, such as  “Why doesn’t our quarterback run the ball?”  “If the guy can touch it, why can’t he catch it?”  “Why does the other team’s quarterback have so much more time to throw?”

This memory came back to me when we were discussing the start of Spring Training and the upcoming 2014 Mets season. 

“Why are you going to watch that bunch of losers?  They ought to fire whomever it is that’s running that team into the ground.”

“Actually, dear, they extended his contract for another two years.”

“What?  Did he improve the team?”

“Ummm, no.  In fact, after finishing 77-85 in his first losing year, Terry Collins actually got worse and was rewarded with his third year option being picked up.”

“Oh, then last year he must have done much better in order for them to extend his contract, right?”

“Well, dear, no.  In fact, they finished with an identical 74-88 record as they did in 2012.  But they finished in 3^rd place instead of 4^th!”

“Are you really going to hang your hat on that?  Doesn’t that just mean the competition around him got worse, not that he got better?”

(silence)

“Well, they must have brought in some good players for this year, right?”

“Sure! They grabbed Curtis Granderson as a free agent from the Yankees.  He’s a good fielder and has a lot of home run power!”

“Does he get on base a lot and hit for a high average?”

“Well, no.  In a regular season he’ll strike out nearly 200 times.”

(rolls her eyes)

“And they signed Chris Young!”

“What, again?  Isn’t that guy always hurt?”

“No, this Chris Young is an outfielder.  He’s coming off a bad year because, well, he was hurt.”

“Does HE get on base a lot and hit for a high average?”

“Despite hitting around the Mendoza line, he actually does draw quite a few walks and can steal some bases.”

“Well, maybe that will work out…not like that guy who strikes out nearly 200 times a year!”

(swallows hard)

“Anyone else?”

“Yeah.  When Matt Harvey went down for his Tommy John surgery, Sandy Alderson went out and got an 18-game winner who had a 2.65 ERA last year as a free agent.”

“Finally, some good news!  At least he’ll be around for many years to help the team win.”

“Uh…Bartolo Colon’s going to be 41 in his first season on the Mets.  We signed him for 2 years.  And he’s even fatter than I am – think a Dominican Mickey Lolich.  And he was suspended for 50 games for juicing.”

(more eye rolling)

“Don’t they have any young players coming up who can help?”

(puffing out my chest) “Yes, Wilmer Flores hit .321 and led his AAA league in RBIs.”

“That’s terrific!  What position does he play?”

“Ummm…he doesn’t have one.  He’s not good enough with the glove to play SS, so they put him at 3B.”

“Doesn’t David Wright play third?”

“Yeah.  So they tried last year to make him into a 2^nd baseman.  They even gave him a handful of games at 1^st.”

“So are the players on the Mets team now playing at 2^nd and 1^st better hitters than Wilmer Flores?”

“Probably not.”

“So where’s he gonna play?”

“Las Vegas”

(still MORE eye rolling)

“But we have lots of good young pitching coming up!”

“Tell me about it.”

“Well, there’s this guy named Rafael Montero who never walks anyone and was the best pitcher both in AA and AAA last year.  And Noah Syndergaard, the guy we got from Toronto in the R.A. Dickey trade, is wowing everyone in AA. “

“Fantastic!  You saw what happened last year when the Marlins promoted Rookie of the Year Jose Fernandez and the Cardinals went to the World Series on the back of Michael Wacha.  It’ll be great to see them in Queens come April.”

(stammering) “Well, you see, there’s this thing called Super Two status.  If the Mets hold back a player until they’re out of contention, then they can save a few bucks for one year down the road.  They won’t start these guys out in Queens in order to keep their service time clock from starting in the majors.”

(throws hands up in the air in disbelief)

“Don’t they know that by putting their best team out on the field they’ll probably win more games and that in turn will generate more ticket sales and more TV revenue and pay for the few dollars they save by putting an inferior team on the field and tossing away the first two and a half months of the season?”

(turning pale, feeling sick)

“What about last year?  Were there any good young players who came up?”

“Sure.  Zack Wheeler looks to be a solid pitcher.  And Juan Lagares was a human highlight reel with circus catches and a cannon for an arm throwing out people trying to take an extra base.”

“Why did they let Lagares come up?  Weren’t they worried about his service time?”

“Well, dear, that only appears to be an issue if you’re expected to do well in the majors.  If you don’t have star potential, then they don’t care about service time.”

“So let me get this straight.  If you are expected to be mediocre, then you can get promoted at any time.  But if they think you’ll be a star, then they keep you in the minors longer than necessary?”

“By George, I think she’s got it!”

“So Lagares is going to be playing centerfield every day this year?”

“Sure.  But probably in Las Vegas.  See, Terry Collins feels the need to get Eric Young into the lineup because he’s a traditional leadoff hitter.  Except he doesn’t get on base very much.  He has no power.  He’s got a rag arm in the outfield.  But he’s real good at stolen bases…in fact, he led the league.”

“Don’t you have to get on base in order to steal a base?  And isn’t the leadoff batter only guaranteed to lead off once during the game in the first inning?”

“What’s your point?”

“One more question for you, sweetheart…despite all this nonsense, you’re still a huge fan of the team.  Are you sure when that car hit you on your motorcycle last summer you were wearing your helmet?”