Richard Herr - Weird Ideas

Weird Ideas

It would appear that the Wilpons, Sandy Alderson, and the Mets’ staff are all using conventional wisdom to try to fix the team. It’s meeting with limited success. Therefore I want to propose some weird ideas, some thoughts that come from way out of the box, for fixing the team. There’s also a bunch of other ideas that might improve things, and I’ve even come up with some other thoughts.

Strength and Conditioning. Replace all of the people on this staff with people who work conditioning - not football players, or body building, of any of those other flash-the abs sports - but conditioning tennis players. Think about it. When was the last time you saw Serena Williams with an oblique injury? How often has Rafael Nadal torn his hamstring? The people who train in that sport use a regimen that is specific to tennis that can equally be applied to baseball: speed and quickness. Six-pack abs never won a batting title.

Strength and Conditioning, II. Starting with Wilmer Flores and heading down through all the other lead-footed members on this team, in the off-season have all of them take - tap-dancing lessons. Those guys will report to spring training with far better agility.

Seen on the Street. I was strolling along when I suddenly spied Steven Wright, the comedian, walking toward me. He seemed deep in thought as he stared at the ground, working on some problem that was bothering him. As he drew next to me, he suddenly stopped, raised his eyes and the sky, and asked, “I wonder how the sales of Terry Collins shirts are doing?”

Strength and Conditioning, III. I sound like a broken record (Google it) as I keep saying this. There have been a number of studies that show that stress in the workplace causes illness and injury. Sandy should hire somebody to check out the Mets to see if anything might be affecting the team that is causing all of these injuries.

It’s a Long Season. Since you have to plan for the long run, why doesn’t Terry Collins resolve to use pitchers for at least an inning in all games before, let’s say, June 15th? If he keeps running in specialists to get one batter here, and one batter there, it increases the number of pitchers in a game, and therefore the number of games the pitchers pitch. The bullpen would probably pull into September with still a little bit of fuel in the tank if their appearances were longer. Obviously, if a guy sucks, pull him before he finishes the inning, if he ever does that.

Support Our Government. Now that the administration is beginning to settle in, why don’t the Mets do their part by offering up Jeff Wilpon for service as diplomat to Patagonia. We need to make our contributions to the government. Also, if Patagonia gets so pissed off at us that they want to go to war, they’re not much of a military threat.

Strength and Conditioning, IV. This one is from my wife. Why don’t the Mets players take a ballet class once a week? It would help stretch out those muscles that they’re tearing so much.

Whenever Richard Herr isn’t solving all the Mets’ problems, he spends his time writing humorous science fiction novels.

You can see his books at https://www.amazon.com/Richard-Herr/e/B00J5XBKX4.