Tom Brennan - "What are we, men? Sluggers? or Sluggards?"

I could picture, if the Mets changed their name to the New York Bravehearts, and Mel Gibson became their Scottish-accented manager, he might ask exactly that question.

"WHAT ARE WE, MEN?  

 SLUGGERS?  

OR SLUGGARDS?"

We all know what the answer is.

Sluggards.

"Are we mice or men?"

Avoid the mousetraps, fellas.

Doth I protest too much?

Well, through Thursday night, the Mets had played 127 games, with 35 games to go, and had scored 473 runs...only AAA Pittsburgh is worse, and not by much at all.

Let's hypothetically say the Mets have to play the full 162 games, but the top 10 scoring teams in baseball were given the last 5 weeks off as a reward for their scoring prowess.  

What would it take the Mets to catch up in runs?  Here goes:

ASTROS 683 RUNS: the Mets would need to score 6 runs a game to catch the vacationing Astros.

TAMPA 674 RUNS: shocking to me that the low budget Rays are such a potent scoring team.  To catch up to the chillin' Rays, the Mets would have to score 5.7 runs over their last 35 games. 

DODGERS 661 RUNS: you'd figure they'd be a top 3 scoring team.  While they spent the last 5 weeks at Disneyland in masks, the Mets would have to score 5.4 runs per game over their last 35 to catch them.

RED SOX 655 RUNS: while the Red Sox ground crew tore up and replanted the grass at Fenway, the Mets would need 5.2 runs per game to catch up.

REDS 647 RUNS: while the Reds hung out on a 35 day cruise with Johnny Bench and Pete Rose, the Mets would have to score 5 runs per game to catch the Reds.

BLUE JAYS 636 RUNS: the Jays could fly south for the winter right now and the Mets would need to average 4.7 runs per game to catch up to them birdies.

White Sox 634 RUNS: the White Sox could get away from murderous Chicago for 7 weeks, and the Low Socks Mets would need to average 4.7 runs per game to catch up to them.

GIANTS 617 RUNS: the SFG players could spend 5 weeks listening to the stories of the Say Hey Kid, and meanwhile, the Mets would need to score 3.8 runs per game to draw even.

BRAVES 616 RUNS: while Acuna Jr heals more, and Ozuna serves more of of time in the penalty box, the Mets would need to score 3.8 runs per game to draw even.

PADRES 596 runs: San Diego could go on a 5 week padre-led spiritual retreat, and the Mets would need 3.5 runs per contest to have a prayer of catching up.

Those 10 teams averaged 642 runs.  

The Mets? 473.  

Which is 3.5 Mets runs per game.

The Mets' Hitters are Sluggards.  

The Mets' hitters are Mice.

The Mets are one of 3 teams under 500 runs.  The 4th worst, Miami, has scored 38 more runs.  The 20th ranked Yankees have scored 81 more runs than the Mets.

You know what the wonder is?

How the heck were the Mets still so close to .500 as I write this?

Because the mousey, sluggardly hitting Metsies have been that woeful.

Saturday night, the sluggers showed up.  They will need to become sluggers extrordinaire in September to climb back into the race.

But then we see this ultra-bizarre occurrence:

SANDY ALDERSON SAID THE FOLLOWING:

In a post-game press conference today, Javy Baez stated that his “thumbs down” gesture during the game was a message to fans who recently have booed him and other players for poor performance. These comments, and any gestures by him or other players with a similar intent, are totally unacceptable and will not be tolerated.

Mets fans are understandably frustrated over the team’s recent performance. The players and the organization are equally frustrated, but fans at Citi Field have every right to express their own disappointment. Booing is every fan’s right.

The Mets will not tolerate any player gesture that is unprofessional in its meaning or is directed in a negative way toward our fans. I will be meeting with our players and staff to convey this message directly.

Mets fans are loyal, passionate, knowledgeable and more than willing to express themselves. We love them for every one of these qualities.

BEYOND BIZARRE: I wonder how the Mets will “not tolerate” this.  Me? Absent a profuse apology, and perhaps suspensions, one thing I won’t do…

WASTE A SINGLE MOMENT MORE WATCHING THESE MORONS.