“Who talks about Paul Gervase? Anyone? Hey buddy, how about you?”
“OK, OK, he’s 6’10”. So what?”
“Well…he was drafted by the Mets in 2022 in the 12th round. He’s walked 27 guys in 31 innings for Brooklyn through Friday this year.”
“OK, that sucks, can we move on to someone else?”
“No, sit down, shut up, and listen.”
“Uhh…OK.”
Paul has also fanned 47 in 31 innings this season.
“Really?”
“Yes….really.”
And his ERA is….1.17.
“Isn’t that close to…like…Jake’s 1.08 ERA in 2021?”
“Exactly”.
“And just 14 hits allowed in 31 innings. Not too shabby, huh, sir?”
“Yeah, that’s something, huh? About the same hits-allowed rate as Jake had that year.”
“Wow”.
“Yeah…WOW.”
So, remember the name, Paul Gervase. The tall guy.
His walks rate may suck, but he sure doesn’t.
METS THE PAST TWO MONTHS…
21-35. Now 9 games behind….THE MARLINS??
The Unwatchables are back - it broadcasts from Flushing and is the show that no sane person wants to watch. Few do.
A new torture technique is strapping individuals to chairs with a head motion restriction harness and devices to keep eyes wide open, forcing them to watch Mets games. Many are getting broken like that. The technique is extremely effective.
METS CHOKE, SEASON IS BROKE.
I am sad to report…
Experts failed to find a pulse for Mr. Met today; he could not be revived, and he painfully expired.
A memorial service for the 2023 season will be held at noon on Monday.
Mr. Met died after a long downwards spiral.
An autopsy will be performed.
Multiple afflictions were the likely cause of death.
Condolences? Send to Steve Cohen, c/o Citifield, Queens, NY.
I like Gervase but he walks more than Lou Reed did on the wild side
ReplyDeleteHe walks less than Walker, though.
ReplyDeleteMight as well be Johnny Walker
ReplyDeleteAs Ralph used to say, you're never as good as you look when you're winning or as bad as you look when you're losing"
ReplyDeleteUnlike you "yoots", I vividly remember both 1951 and 1978, along with others, that are reminders that "it ain't over till it's over".
As my patron saint, Saint Tug, said, "YGB". I still believe.
Bill, I rule nothing out. The dead sometimes miraculously RISE. The Mets need a miracle…or three.
ReplyDeleteI’m hopeful but I don’t believe. Closer to the Mats than the Marlins?
ReplyDeleteWoeful.
ReplyDeleteI feel worse for Mrs. Met. Frankly I'm glad we really suck because now there's no question about being buyers or sellers and hopefully we avoided another trade deadline disaster.
ReplyDeleteTrade deadline disaster? Last year after the Baez trade they were reluctant to trade top prospects,so Vogelbach,Ruf et Al
ReplyDelete