Tom Brennan - LOW METS' SCORING IS SO BORING

NO CUTESY PICTURES TODAY - LOW METS' SCORING IS SO BORING!

Hey, I'm a realist.  If you're facing a prime time Greg Maddux or a Clayton Kershaw, watching a 1-0 contest can be exciting.  

Especially when your team is ahead of them 1-0.  You expect to be throttled bt truly great pitchers.  How do you think hitters facing Jake feel?

But...scoreless on 2 hits against Kyle Hendricks?  And against Eric Fedde?  They're good, OK, but...this is...

BORING.  IT GIVES ME CHUNKS.

The hitters should be indicted on charges of lack of run support, aggravated fan aggravation, and pennant race endangerment.

As I write this on Saturday morning, the Mets are dead last in scoring with 233, while the Astros, without offensive cog George Springer, have scored 384.  151 more runs, just to save you the math calc.

Yes, yes, I understand, the Astros have played 7 games more than the Mets' 62 games, and assuredly, I do understand that the Mets were going to average 22 runs per game in their next 7 games to pull even with the Astros, and that writing about this whole subject is therefore pointless.  

Thanks for pointing that out.

Playing a word association game, though, I find that when someone says to me, "Major league's lowest scoring team," I pop out words like IMPOTENT, DREADFUL, BORING, and phrases like "Tiddlywinks are more fun".

We hear Jeff McNeil is due back Sunday or Monday, when he just doubled and homered for Syracuse last night and should instead have been handed a plane ticket to DC within 5 minutes after his home run, along with a satchel of smelling salts for Mets "hitters". 

We are (at least I am) thankful that McNeil and Conforto are soon due back and Nimmo may not be far behind.  The offensive Mets corpse could use 3 electrified paddle jolts.  

Defense may slip somewhat, but home plate will be touched many times more.  Winning teams love to touch home plate.  Winning teams touch home plate more than losing teams.

Many times over the years, I confess that have almost thrown in the towel on this team.  Almost.  And the reason for that?  

Offensive anemia leading to acute Tom aggravation.  Stuff like Jerry Koosman pitching for a "second half in scoring Mets team" for every one of his 15 seasons as a Met.  Seemingly impossible, but I looked it up once.  It's why we don't say "Hall of Famer Jerry Koosman."  

I earnestly pray that McNeil, Conforto, and Nimmo come back with offensive guns blazing and that JD Davis is not too far behind toting his .357 (average, that is).  

Please understand me - I don't hate defense.  

I just hate the combo of defense and catatonic offense.  

I like a well functioning offense, and if it means a little less defense, so be it.

We need those 4 dudes back PRONTO.  

Because the offensive corpse?  King James told me it stinketh much.

I think defense is swell and dandy, and the Mets' record so far has been beyond expectations, in part due to the splendid defense. 

But a major jolt of offensive adrenaline will do wonders.  

Having the injured offensive stars return should help in 4 ways:

1) Alonso to relax and just go out and hit as part of a team that can score.

2) Lindor to relax and just go out and hit as part of a team that can score.

3) Smith to relax and just go out and hit as part of a team that can score.

4) The rest of the offense to relax and just go out and hit as part of a team that can score.

When key hitters don't feel every single darned day like "I GOTTA HIT, OR WE WON'T SCORE," that pressure is counterproductive.  Hitters press.  

Lousy hitters + pressing hitters = happy opposing pitchers.

When all the hitters are back, though, you as a hitter will no doubt feel more like, "Dudes, let's have a hitting party and big-time kick some A.."  

Fans on Facebook repeatedly crucify Rojas on pitching decisions, when the 500 pound gorilla (no friggin' offense) is the culprit.  Put the proctoscope away, fellas.

Everyone, seemingly, keeps doing proctological exams on Joey Lucchesi...when all it is, is you need to score him a bunch of runs, then he wins, then everybody loves Joey!  

He has allowed just 3 earned runs in 22+ innings over his last 5 starts, yet is 0-1 over those 5.  The lack of offensive support for him makes me want to puke, frankly.  Get off Joey's back!  Would you prefer Matt Harvey?  It's the hitters!!!!  Joey's fine!  

Joey's my # 4, I embrace that. and maybe when Crumbly Cookie Carrasco is ready to return, Joey STAYS number 4.  

Joey's very good, folks.  Stop thinking otherwise.  It's the lack of hitting.  He wouldn't be getting pulled after 4 innings if he led 6-0.

Marcus is super-positive, and I love it from him, but I am super-positive that if the corpse sprang to life and hit like a normal team, he'd be 9-2 and not 6-5.  

Remember, the Mets have a MAJOR LEAGUE BEST 3.07 ERA without the huge benefit of getting to face Mets' hitters!!!!

The Mets' hitters need to wake up... 

Or I will keep shutting off the TV set.  

I just can't watch much impotent offensive baseball.  

Maybe you can.  

I can't.