1/23/17

Richard Herr - So Whaddya Think? - 12

5 comments

You Gotta Accentuate the Positive
“So whaddya think?”
“Whaddya mean? What do I think?”
“Whaddya think about the press?”
“No.”
“Huh?”
“No.”
“That’s not an answer to my question.”
“Yes, it is.”
“How can you say that?”
“It’s what the press always says.”
“No?”
“You bet. They’re always saying no to everything.”
“Gimme a for instance.”
“Whaddya think of Lucas Duda?”
“He’s pretty good.”
“I’ll continue for you. He hits 30 homeruns a year. He fields his position pretty good, handles most all throws, gets most ground balls. He’s pretty good.”
“That’s what I said.”
“And they were such great words, I repeated them.”
“Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.”
“So could you relate this to the press?”
“What does the press say about Lucas Duda? They’ll tell you he’s streaky. They’ll tell you he’s not that good a fielder.”
“Well, in the World Series he…”
“Yes, I know. He’s like that punchline to a joke. ‘But suck one’—and there’s a last word there. I think you know the joke. But you can see what I’m getting at with the press. They accentuate the negative. They keep saying ‘no’ about everything. When else can you remember Lucas Duda making a bad throw?”
“Now that you mention it….”
“Exactly. And when the press says he’s streaky, what they’re really talking about are the times he doesn’t hit home runs. They don’t talk very much about how he carries the team when he’s hot. No, they always say he’s streaky.”
“So they don’t give Duda the benefit of the doubt.”
“He’s not the only one they badmouth.”
“Who else?”
“Not too long ago there was a guy they couldn’t wait to see leave this town. They kept complaining about him. They said he was a bum because he couldn’t properly field his position, which was not the one he played in the minors. They said he was a liability with his base running gaffs.”
“I think I recognize this one. Murph, right?”
“On the schnozz, my friend. They couldn’t wait to get him out of town. He had nothing but faults. Oh, wait a minute! There’s one thing he also had. A major league record for home runs in playoffs. He may have been the sole reason why the Mets made the World Series in ’15. But the press could only talk about his faults.”
“You got anybody else?”
“Yeah. The way they’ve handled Jay Bruce. The minute the Mets signed Cespedes, anybody who could count knew they had too many left-hand hitting outfielders. So the press jumped up and started broadcasting to everyone, especially rival GMs, about how Sandy couldn’t do anything else to fix the team until he cleared Bruce’s salary off the books. And, they added, Bruce really didn’t hit so well here in New York. Again, stressing the negative.”
“Where does that put the Bruce thing?”
“The other GMs are going to stonewall, knowing Sandy’s behinds the 8-ball. So Bruce is gonna be there at spring training along with the rest of the Mets who will be shy a good arm or two in the bullpen, and Sandy’s running around like crazy trying to trade him for something worthwhile.”
“Whaddya think the press should do?”
“They should start being more positive. Not go around bad-mouthing everyone and ruining the trade market for them.”
“Whaddya mean more positive?”
“I’ll show you an example. Stand up tall where you are. Good. Now raise your arm up high. Good. Now repeat after me, ‘Percy, I’ve got the next round.’”
“Nice try.”

Whenever Richard Herr isn’t solving all the Mets’ problems, he spends his time writing humorous science fiction novels.


You can see his books at https://www.amazon.com/Richard-Herr/e/B00J5XBKX4.

5 comments:

Mack Ade said...

Boy, could I tell you stories about the Mets beat press.

Let us just say that the left anti-Trump press has nothing on these guys.

Reese Kaplan said...

Can we still badmouth the manager and the GM? That shouldn't hurt the trade value of any of the players :)

Richard Herr said...

You can go ahead and report about anybody you want to in whatever was you want to. Just as long as you are that thing that's been beaten into the ground, Fair and Balanced.
Balanced, that is, in your reporting. Your mental state can be balanced/unbalanced, whatever way you want it to be.

Thomas Brennan said...

I am positive Duda will be streaky in 2017 - unless he gets more aggressive on 1st strike pitches. Always lethal in at bats that end before two strikes, awful when he has a count with 2 strikes on him.

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