Posted by Richard Herr at 8:00 AM
“So whaddya think?”
“Whaddya mean? What do I think?”
“Whaddya think about the Mets this winter?
“Whaddya mean, nothing?”
“Just that, nothing. Zip. Zero. Zilch. Goose egg. Nada. A big, long string of nothing.”
“What you’re saying to me is non-sense.”
“I have my moments. To continue, nothing you make is sense.”
“I think nothing about the Mets because they are doing nothing. They are sitting around making a grand total of no action. So there ain’t nothing to think about.”
“They’ve got have their reasons.”
“I thought that too. I said it was the holidays. They were off playing Santa Claus, or something like that. I figured it’s New Years. They’re at the gym fulfilling their resolutions. I figured it’s January. It’s too cold to make a deal. I’m running out of reasons.”
“There’s gotta be something.”
“I’ll tell you what. I’m going to stand up here and give you my Mets report.”
“Careful. Do you think your heart can stand it?”
“Okay, here’s my Mets report. This is just in. I have a man who is right down there on the field at Citi Field. He’s giving me this exclusive report that grass is actually growing there.”
“Wait a minute, I’ve gotta take notes.”
“I’ve also got a rep who is a fly on the wall up in the executive offices. He’s telling me that most definitely the paint on that wall is actually drying.”
“You’re scooping every reporter in town.”
“Here’s another one from my man hanging out near the water cooler that is in the kitchen. He says there is some water there that he thinks is, in the very near future, just about to boil.”
“I don’t know what else I can say. There ain’t nothing happening with the Mets. Maybe the problem really was Christmas. The holiday spirit just stuck. Sandy’s sitting around doing nothing but having a Christmas carol running through his head.”
“What one’s that?”
Whenever Richard Herr isn’t solving all the Mets’ problems, he spends his time writing humorous science fiction novels.
You can see his books at https://www.amazon.com/Richard-Herr/e/B00J5XBKX4.