According to one of my sources...
1. The Mets have already worked out a deal on paper for SP Johan Santana. It will cost the Mets SP John Maine, SP Mike Humber, SP Mike Pelfrey, and OF Fernando Martinez. Look for it to be announced around December.
2. The Mets are also trading for C Joe Mauer. In return, they will give up SP Kevin Mulvey, 2B Ruben Gotay, and OF Carlos Gomez.
3. SP Livan Hernandez will be signed to a FA contract and will join a rotation of a returning Tom Glavine, Orlando Hernandez, Pedro Martinez, and Santana.
4. Luis Castillo will not be returning to the Mets next year and the second base job will be given to current St. Lucie player Hector Pellot.
5. The Mets will also annouce after their last playoff game that Vegas Nipplerod has been named as Promotional Director and the first thing he will institute is free alcohol and steroid testing in a kiosk located inside the Mets bullpen.
6. Julio Franco will return to the Mets next year to play along other pickups like ex-Giants 1Bman Bobby Thompson, and new long man Jose Lima.
7. The Commissioner of Baseball will be banning the use of sunflower seeds as a control substance, causing most Mets players to shop on EBAY for urine to be used in their next testing.
8. Alex Escobar, Paul Wilson, Jay Payton, Bill Pulsipher, and Sandy Alomar Sr. Sr (father of their coach and grandfather of their catcher) will also be signed in the off season and will all start at AAA New Orleans. It is the hope that Escobar will win his 4th Mets Minor League Player of the Year.
9. Manager Willie be traded to the Yankees for the guy that played Reggie Jackson in "The Bronx is Burning", and a pitching coach to be named later. He will be replaced in the Mets dugout with Billy Crystal, who will name Rudy Gulliani as his pitching coach, will change the uniforms to exactly the same as the Yankees, and will sign a long term deal to play in the old 'house that Ruth built" as soon as the Yanks new stadium is done.
10. And lastly, my source tells me he has to get back to his job at the Fulton Fishmarket where he throws carp to some guy named Lenny all day.
Don't tell anybody... these all all hush hush.
Mack
3 comments:
Can I have an invite too?
signed ~ Mike Vail
Had dinner at this restaurant famous for its "unnamed sauces." Paid for it the next day.
And, of course, the Mets are STILL going to get Mark Langston, Carney Lansford and Willie Mae Aikens!!!
Post a Comment