The morgue staff slides the body out of the refrigerated compartment. The sheet is pulled back.
"Yes", you say. "That's him. I can't believe he's dead. He was so young."
Wait, didn't we see this episode of CSI - NY last year?
Mr. Met's 2019 life started out in such promising fashion - 9-4 record, happiness in Metsville.
What we did not realize, however, is that Mr. Met had colluded with the Russians to destroy the 2019 season.
A dossier was just discovered that shows that the bullpen was being weaponized to take down the Mets season.
After a brutal several days through Wednesday, Thursday arrived. Time to put the final plan into motion.
Mets trail 1-0 going into the 9th inning.
Todd Frazier valiantly battles the Phil's elite closer and eventually hits a dramatic and wonderful 2 run shot. Another 3 hits and the Mets push across an insurance run.
Wow - could this be a turning point for this team, a point from which to rally?
Nyet.
Of course, Manchurian Candidate Edwin Diaz, activated and weaponized by the Russians, coughs up 5 runs in just 1/3 of an inning, and is seen walking off the mound muttering in Russian. A lip reader was certain he said, "I have completed my mission, Vladimir."
The bullpen had done its job - as it had so many times before for Mother Russia - and the season was declared dead.
Some will say, "Wait, can't the patient be resurrected to win the Wild Card?" No, the poison used was too potent, and even if the patient shows some miraculous signs of life, there is plenty more biotoxins to administer.
After all, the season has 80 games left.
And the Mets are 6.5 games out in the Wild Card, with 7 teams in front of them.
Nyet. Season is over, comrade. Weaponized bullpen, comrade, was something even Jason Bourne couldn't stop.
There's always 2020, some say, but they forget - but Comrade Wilpon is still in charge.
It is time to sell Mets players on the Black Market - at a discount, of course.
8 comments:
It seems like the baseball gods made it a point to emphasize why it would have been so much better to have traded deGrom last year and restock the organization's talent at the height of deGromde value.
Bob, in hindsight, I could not agree with you more.
But it all starts with the Wilpons. If the purse strings were loosened, the Mets would have signed Kimbrel in the off season and avoided Cano, who I read that Howie Rose blasted for his lazy play.
Or they would have sold high on deGrom and went complete Houston-style rebuild, with a #1 - # 3 overall pick in the next draft.
LOL Tom great post but I was thinking a Chernobyl analogy would fit as the meltdowns were similar in destructiveness and those in charge are telling us it's safe to return to the scene sound familiar.
Instead of 41 Seaver Way they could have just renamed it 3 Mile Island.
On the deGrom thing, NOW will people agree when I was the lone wolf during the Madoff era screaming to TRADE rather than extend David Wright? Same logic, same mistake, same results.
Reese... Not the lone wolf...
But in this case Degrom stays
But thor, matz, fraizer, Diaz, Vargas, Lugo, all go... that should net 5 top 100 prospects...
and If we wanted to go radical we can discuss Conforto too... bit to me that one may be off season...
add 5 Top 100 2 of which i expect to be AA or higher and we have a future...
Reese, very good one - and rename the park Sink Hole Stadium
Only difference with Wright is deGrom should still be tradeable...it is mostly not his fault that his record again is crap....a great pen and his record would be just fine.
Wright was tradeable before the spinal stenosis set in a few years after the contract extension. They wanted their own Je4er. They aimed for Derek but got Michael instead.
Lets remember all of Brodies moves and his plan going into 2019 was done having no idea about Alonso and McNeil (who almost went in the Cano trade). So it really could be ALOT worse as I'm looking for anything to make me feel better about this horrible season.
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