11/29/10

Mets Secrets Exposed By WickiLeaks

Mets Secrets Exposed By WickiLeaks



Hundreds of thousands of confidential, secret, and top secret documents were released to the public yesterday by WickiLeaks about the US Government, Afghanistan, Iran, the Middle East, and yes, even the New York Mets!


Some of the information released to public included:


-a private email sent by then Manager Willie Randolph, to Brian Cashman, General Manager of the New York Yankees, which said “Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeze get me out of this place…”.


-a complete analysis of the top secret process used by former Mets Scouting Director Rudy Terrasas, including the juju beads and incense used by Pedro Cerano in “Major League”.


-a mimeographed in-house secret ad for rookie David Wright’s first uniform, sold by Charlie Samuels, on Ubid.


-a lengthy internal hush-hush memo from Omar Minaya to all members of the 2008 Mets, saying “I don’t care what Jose said, Carlos Gomez ain’t gonna play in my outfield…”.


-hand written notes on a Kleenex, made by Jeff Wilpon, during the Omar meltdown against Adam Rubin. The notes include “son of a bitch”, “how did Minaya find out?” and “plan B… Kiernan”.


-the unsigned contracts for two trades… one, in April 2010, which traded P Oliver Perez to the Los Angeles Dodgers for outfielder Matt Kemp. The other, which was in October of 2010, would have traded Perez to Red Box for a copy of a movie that starred Matt Damon.


-the previous top secret plans on the building of Citi Field, which includes a hand written note in the margin, by Fred Wilpon, saying “move the outfield back more so no one can hit a home run against us”.


-a sponsorship proposal to the Mets from the Trojan Company, which would include a special live commercial at end of each Mets game, naming the “Mets Dick of the Day”, brought to you by...".


-the complete, unabridged, word for word, conversation between Bobby Valentine and Jeff Wilpon regarding the possibility of Valentine returning as the Mets manager. The length was one sentence ending with one party asking the other to do something to themselves that was physically impossible to accomplish


-and, lastly… (as if that wasn’t already enough…)… the notarized transcription of the last conversation between Tony Bernazard and Omar Minaya, which included an emotional plea by Omar, saying “you broke my heart, Fredo…”


(of course… all of this was written in jest… Happy Holidays to all of you!)


Mack

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