Reese Kaplan -- All I Want for Christmas...

As the holiday weekend begins it seems an appropriate time to revisit the letter to Santa indicating what every Mets fan would like to see for its players and for themselves for the coming year:

Lucas Duda – to be healthy and to recapture that rookie year mojo that saw him hitting .292 on packe for 20 HRs and 100 RBIs rather than the all-or-nothing swinger he’s become

Neil Walker – to be healthy and to net a solid return in a mid-season trade to another club when some combination of Jose Reyes, T.J. Rivera, Wilmer Flores or Gavin Cechhini is deemed capable of manning the position

Asdrubal Cabrera – to be healthy and to maintain his steady level of play at SS even with uber-prospect Amed Rosario breathing down his neck for the shortstop position for the future

David Wright – to become healthy enough to play in at least 100 games

Travis d’Arnaud – to be healthy and to deliver on the offensive promise of 2015 over the course of 140 games

Yoenis Cespedes – to stop playing golf when disabled and to become the latter day version of Carlos Beltran who earned his paycheck and often carried the club on his back for extended periods of time

Curtis Granderson – to say all the right things on his way out of town

Jay Bruce – see Curtis Granderson

Juan Lagares – to hit at least .270 in order to justify playing him on a regular basis to take advantage of his fielding and his throwing

Wilmer Flores and T.J. Rivera – R-E-S-P-E-C-T, find out what it means to me!

Rene Rivera – some Vulcan mind meld capabilities to impart whatever it is that makes pitchers like to throw to him to Travis d’Arnaud

Jose Reyes – a positive attitude as a super sub without a clearly defined starting role (which means the rest of the club is surprisingly healthy)

Matt Harvey – may the only ribs he misses come from Blue Smoke or Dinosaur Barbecue

Jacob de Grom – enough health to challenge Noah Syndergaard for the mantle of ace of the staff

Noah Syndergaard – a pickoff move

Steve Matz – a consultation with the Six Million Dollar Man’s doctors to give him a new left arm

Zack Wheeler – to emerge from the Where’s Waldo purgatory in which he’s existed since 2014

Jeurys Familia – the complete DVD box set of Charlie Sheen’s “Anger Management”

Addison Reed – to become the best ever Mets pitcher by that name, eclipsing Rick

Hansel Robles – that his regular pitches are as effective as his quick ones

Sandy Alderson – to understand there’s a reason to pay for bakery fresh over day old markdowns

Terry Collins – Gingko Biloba to help him to remember how to play small ball

Mets fans – the Costco sized drum of antacid for what thus far looks to be a long and frustrating season


Thomas Brennan said...

Gingko biloba is already ordered

Anonymous said...

Here is my list.

1. I want to see the promised rotation of aces. Syndergaard, deGrom, Harvey, Matz, Wheeler.

2. A resurgence of Lagares and Conforto.

3. A true direction from the organization. Either they are in it to win or just pretenders who always come up short.

4. Maximum effort from Cespedes. No more cruising after balls but hard nosed baseball, leading by example.

5. Brain cells that actually talk to each other from the imbecile in the dugout. May Collins make more sense in 2017.

6. Player accountability. Don't hit, don't play.

7. Tejada's picture back in Collins desk, just to make him happy again.

8. A brawl sometime during the season just to wake them up.

9. d'Arnaud to stop throwing the ball into CF.

10. Cespedes and Duda to swing at the meatball first strikes instead of taking them.

11. Flores to start going the other way on outside pitches instead of trying to pull them.

12. More TJ.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year fellow Mets fans.


Thomas Brennan said...

Viper, I am all in on #10, and for that matter the whole list. Reese has to be on board about the brain cells, but wants. TC to empty his desk, not be putting pictures in the desk. The reason we don't have Oldtimers Day anymore is our manager is older than most of them. As one not that much younger than TC (but without any of his grey or silver hair), I can razz him on the age thing a bit.

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