A week to go until Christmas, and what, pray tell, might Sandy shove in our stockings? Chunks of coal, or some real fun goodies?
We got Yoenis Cespedes, and that was quite the gift, so for that reason alone, we don't have to call ownership Ebenezer Scrooge this year. The Grinch will not steal Christmas, thanks to that one.
We just got Burns and Rowan, not to be confused with comedy duo greats Burns and Allen, nor with Rowan and Martin,. Those two relievers are nothing more than big chunks of coal until proven otherwise. Will they turn out to be a season-long supply of Rolaids instead? Time will tell.
Paul Sewald is hoping to end up in a stocking on the mantle that our resident shorty Terry Collins can actually reach and use during 2017.
Sandy, can we at least have our buddies Blevins and Salas back like we had 'em in 2016, please? No gift wrap required. Stocking up on quality relievers is my kind of Christmas stocking.
And Sandy, we don't want no Blackman power tools as our gifts, but a Charlie Blackmon stocking stuffer would be real nice. Please don't say "sorry, Charlie." I suppose instead we'll find a Finding Nemo (pronounced Nimmo) DVD in our stockings.
And I hear Jay Bruce eats too much, so Sandy, can you please trade him before family Christmas dinner? I don't want to go hungry because Jay, who can really drive in runs, cleaned up before I got to my share of the grub.
I'm nervous that at the Mets holiday party, in the Grab Bag I heard that everyone tried to be practical and bought Ben Gay as their secret gift, I guess because we have a lot of achy breaky players. Apply daily, twice daily in case of stenosis.
Sandy, please sign more great international ballplayers, so we can heartily sing FELIZ NAVIDAD, OK, Señor?
And can you invite Beck Wheeler along with Zach "the Elbow" Wheeler to spring training too, Sandy, so it will be like I got a 2 wheeler for Christmas? Great. Training wheels will stay on it until spring training is over, just before Opening Day, just to be safe.
All right, enough silly Christmas schtick, except to ask; what's in that really large stocking down at the end? Oh, it's Tim Tebow. I want that one. That's a keeper.
Merry Christmas everyone (Donald Trump assured me I could say that again - How Great Is That? So Great.)....and blessings to you too, Sandy and Terry.