Richard Herr - Weird Ideas

Weird Ideas
It would appear that the Wilpons, Sandy Alderson, and the Mets’ staff are all using conventional wisdom to try to fix the team. It’s meeting with limited success. Therefore I want to propose some weird ideas, some thoughts that come from way out of the box, for fixing the team. There’s also a bunch of other ideas that might improve things, and I’ve even come up with some other thoughts.
Strength and Conditioning. Replace all of the people on this staff with people who work conditioning - not football players, or body building, of any of those other flash-the abs sports - but conditioning tennis players. Think about it. When was the last time you saw Serena Williams with an oblique injury? How often has Rafael Nadal torn his hamstring? The people who train in that sport use a regimen that is specific to tennis that can equally be applied to baseball: speed and quickness. Six-pack abs never won a batting title.
Strength and Conditioning, II. Starting with Wilmer Flores and heading down through all the other lead-footed members on this team, in the off-season have all of them take - tap-dancing lessons. Those guys will report to spring training with far better agility.
Seen on the Street. I was strolling along when I suddenly spied Steven Wright, the comedian, walking toward me. He seemed deep in thought as he stared at the ground, working on some problem that was bothering him. As he drew next to me, he suddenly stopped, raised his eyes and the sky, and asked, “I wonder how the sales of Terry Collins shirts are doing?”
Strength and Conditioning, III. I sound like a broken record (Google it) as I keep saying this. There have been a number of studies that show that stress in the workplace causes illness and injury. Sandy should hire somebody to check out the Mets to see if anything might be affecting the team that is causing all of these injuries.
It’s a Long Season. Since you have to plan for the long run, why doesn’t Terry Collins resolve to use pitchers for at least an inning in all games before, let’s say, June 15th? If he keeps running in specialists to get one batter here, and one batter there, it increases the number of pitchers in a game, and therefore the number of games the pitchers pitch. The bullpen would probably pull into September with still a little bit of fuel in the tank if their appearances were longer. Obviously, if a guy sucks, pull him before he finishes the inning, if he ever does that.
Support Our Government. Now that the administration is beginning to settle in, why don’t the Mets do their part by offering up Jeff Wilpon for service as diplomat to Patagonia. We need to make our contributions to the government. Also, if Patagonia gets so pissed off at us that they want to go to war, they’re not much of a military threat.
Strength and Conditioning, IV. This one is from my wife. Why don’t the Mets players take a ballet class once a week? It would help stretch out those muscles that they’re tearing so much.

Whenever Richard Herr isn’t solving all the Mets’ problems, he spends his time writing humorous science fiction novels.

You can see his books at https://www.amazon.com/Richard-Herr/e/B00J5XBKX4.


Reese Kaplan said...

So Terry Collins, Sandy Alderson and Jeff Wilpon walk into a bar...which one of them forgot to duck before getting smacked in the head?

Thomas Brennan said...

Great ideas - starting with essentially, "train for baseball like a base ball player."

Harvey injury - I missed the evolution of the Harvey injury - how long did he pitch with it the last game in pain?

Mack Ade said...

it's all one big injury...

Thomas Brennan said...

Mack, what I am getting at was it a "suck it up" atmosphere or Harvey machismo that kept him pitching when starting to really hurt, or did it suddenly happen? Sounds like with lowered velocity, it was not just one pitch. Why these guys can't learn to stop when they start to feel an injury is beyond me.

Hobie said...

I can see it now -- ground ball to short:
Executing a grand battement jete, cabrera flips to...
Flores, relaying with a single buck break & barrel roll to,,,
Duda, who swats the ball into RF with a devastating 2-handed backhand.

Harvey pulls a lat laughing.

Thomas Brennan said...

Hobie, the only one to stay healthy is CF Victor the Cruz Missile Cruzado

Gary Seagren said...

Makes perfect sense. Like the Seinfeld episode "The Opposite" if everything were doing (in training and conditioning) is wrong the opposite must be right...dam worth a try. Interesting Matt Cerone article about the odds of getting even a wildcard spot based on the projections of 100 wins or the pace the D backs and Rockies are on we would have to go 69-25 or a .734 win %. Now I'd like to see the front office spin this one and tell us we still have a shot.

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